My Tryst with Computers

Man made computers and not the other way……says parul.I nod meekly and try to believe that. If you are one of parul’s tribe, then read and

 Think, Puzzle, Explore!!!!!!?????????

Scene 1.Computer room

Spic and span….All the computers sit majestically in a line, donned with various accessories and resemble emperors of a bygone era.

I take a deep breath, and stealthily enter the room. I make sure that none of these emperors notice me…. (Simple, do not look at them).

A group of adults and kids are sitting and clicking in gay abandon. Soft music wafts around. I use sign language to ask about the net connectivity.

YIPPPPPPPPPPEEEEEEEEEE………It is there………J

Computers are not AWARE about my presence,

Everybody seems ENABLED by them,

I am EMPOWERED therefore….

I position myself confidently in front of a computer that looks inviting.

I also ensure that The Xavier of computers (Nilesh) is right next to me. Or else my SOS calls may go unanswered and I will sink like the Titanic.

I look at him for a few minutes, and get inspired by the amount of multitasking he is doing.

I type my name and password .A loud noise comes out. All eyes turn towards me and a hushed silence descends into the room.

Oh!The speakers had been tuned to the maximum…….

Some gibberish appears on the screen .The computer is asking for a verification of my credentials?

I type thrice juggling between the gibberish and my password. The machine refuses to acknowledge me and gleefully tests my patience.

I look around and ….all are making merry …….

I let out a distress call and nudge Nilesh.

He bends like Beckham and

Here a click, there a click, every where a click

Click, click, click.

The computer obeys, as meek as a lamb.I can now work…

But why is there a twisted smile tucked away in the corner of his lips?????????

Scene.2.

I march home. I can work there. See Iam A positive but now is trying to become B positive.

I sit in front of the computer and give multiple commands to the machine. Wow…The beast is not rebellious and obeys all my commands .I become more adventurous and try to act smart

.Lo! Behold!

The computer conks out…..

My son seethes with anger .

your generation is not meant to operate computers, he mutters under his breath.

I look at him helplessly.

He charges like a knight in shining armor and….

Here a click, there a click, every where a click

Click, click, click.

The computer obeys, as meek as a lamb.

Man made computers, says Parul.

That’s the problem….

Why did a woman not make it?

Maa Tujhe Salaam....

I started the ignition and switched on the radio as well. A.R.Rahman’s song wafted through....'maa tujhe salaam….' Kunal thrust his head and hands out of the window and shouted……...'Ammaa…tujhe salaam…'

I nodded in agreement…Minnie’s mom deserved it. She was The Real Mom. 

As the car picked up speed ,my mind too raced back……A flood of memories rushed in…

The elections were just two months away. And it (as always) generated a lot of buzz in the college. Students did all that they could to elect their favorite contestants .The only rule they had to obey was to respect the sanity and decorum of the process of election. And sure they did so. Our principal was a man of few words and a strict disciplinarian. But that made our college one of the most coveted premier colleges of Delhi, and we were really proud to be studying there.

I knew Kunal since our college days. My parents were an ambitious NRI couple who visited India once in three years but who wanted their only ward to be a true Indian!? So I spent my childhood in a boarding school and now was in this college to complete my thesis...I had little or no attachment to my parents, to USA or to India and sometimes felt like a floater whose roots were firmly attached to nowhere……….

Kunal was raised by his dad but the missing link of emotions of or by a woman had made him and his dad morons…I believed or rather everyone who knew them believed…And we became friends. 

Then one day she walked in!!!!!!!!!

Minnie ,a beautiful girl with an even more beautiful smile and eyes that resembled darting fish across the water…She was a soft spoken multitalented diva and a fearless orator……her favorite subject being political science………

Kunal and I were sitting on the lawns .The class had been dispersed early and me being a hostelite did not have to hurry to go home. Kunal lived in the vicinity of he college as a paying guest and had the leisure of spending time in college as long as he wished. He was happier doing so rather than go to his Den (as he called his room) and face a volley of inquiries by a senseless caretaker of the bungalow........

She walked straight towards us. We were chalking out plans for the election.Kunal was contesting as the Arts club secretary, a post he held the previous year also.

Wow!!!What a beautiful girl….but her clothes were a little outdated I felt.

"Who the hell gave her these clothes…..if it is her choice, then she has a poor sense of fashion….."I think I was blabbering a little too loud. Kunal nudged me.

"Shut up, dear…you can’t be so mean….people have their own choice and tastes…."

The girl smiled at us and asked a bit loudly….."Hi….I am Minnie, this is my first day here...may I know where the admin wing is? Could you help me please…?"

Her diction was perfect and she had an aura of confidence when she spoke…

"Hi….I am Kunal and she is my friend…." Kunal immediately responded …..

I too stood up and accompanied them …

But why is Kunal so excited????A question popped up in my head and although I tried to shake it off, it refused to go away…

"What’s love?" Kunal asked me in a hushed voice…

"Why, are you in love?"….I tried not to sound sarcastic...

"Oh, no, just wondering…what is it..?"

"Concentrate on your studies, you idiot…you have wasted enough time in elections and youth festivals…."I buried my nose into the political science text. "So much to read Kunal …better start ….." I glanced sideways.

Kunal was staring at nothing ….the book was open in his lap, its pages caressed by the gentle breeze ….

"Heyy baby…." I gave him a small tap...

He looked at me as if in a trance and said "Minnie’s mom cooks for her, manages the house, designs her clothes….."

"Haaaahaaa", I laughed out loudly, "No wonder she looks like a village pumpkin…."

"You know sometimes you are so mean….you behave like a hardcore Delhite...who measures people in terms of the power, money or clothes they possess…what a snobbish culture and a pathetic attitude…."Kunal shook his head in disgust. ….I couldn’t believe my self….

The surprise look on my face might have made Kunal realize his folly, because he regained his composure immediately.

"I am sorry but the fact is that I like Minnie. And she likes me too. But her mom would never approve such relationships…..In fact she hates Minnie talking to boys……"

"Oh…but she was one of the most vocal supporters you had for the elections and I saw her interacting with lots of boys during elections..." I retorted angrily….

Kunal‘s voice almost got drowned "I like her …, I really love her and she loves me too…….."

"What…???"I almost screamed…."How can you…???Barely five months and you are in love with her??????????"

"Yes…and it is true. We think and believe that we are made for each other."

Kunal held my hand...and continued, the moment I saw her, I felt a tug inside my heart ….Is this love??????

I put his hand down and said, "Kunal, my Devdas; stop all this nonsense and study. Your dad should not be disappointed by your results…let me go…I am not interested in this love story and do not want to be involved also…"

"Will you talk to Minnie’s mom and know why she detests men???Will you convince her that I am serious about the relationship and want to marry Minnie as soon as I can afford to do so?" Kunal was almost in tears…

"You mean you want me to ply between the two of you as a messenger?? …..And why should I???? You both hid everything from me …Why did you not tell me about your feelings towards her?????????Did you suspect my ability to keep secrets???Why….why…???????"

Tears ran down my cheeks.

Kunal put his hands on my shoulders and whispered…. "Sorry dear….sorry….."

I did not meet him for the next couple of weeks .I felt cheated….I was not really bothered about Minnie but for Kunal……I did have a soft corner. No it was not love but a likeness ….And I valued my feelings towards him…

Then came the exams and everybody forgot everyone else in the process.

Soon the last day of the exams arrived much to everybody’s relief. The papers were not difficult and I dreamed of good results. Kunal was also happy about his attempts. We had met before the exams to wish each other Best of Luck. But I deliberately avoided bumping into Minnie.

"Please come with me to Minnie’s house," Kunal pleaded. "We can have some goodtime there." Before I could say something he bundled me into the car and off we went.

The house was modest, neat and clean.Minnie's mom looked gorgeous in her plnk salwar kameez.She could easily pass off like her sister and I couldn’t suppress my thoughts.Minnies mom laughed at my compliments. The food was delicious and we were overwhelmed by her hospitality. Aunty took us around the house, showed us her coin collection and in between, cracked jokes and even danced to the tune of an African rap song. Kunal and I were flabbergasted. Wow!! What a mom!!!Suddenly I felt all my mental borders towards Minnie crumbling away.

We stayed for the night.

But something was amiss in that house. Who was and where was Minnie’s father???There was nothing in that house that gave clues of a father?!!1

Kunal was having great time with Minnie and they together presented a lovely picture. I expressed it rather impulsively and the next moment I heard aunty crying softly.

"I am an unmarried woman …. "she said in between her sobs…

"Minnie….?????" I felt stupid to ask so ….

"She is my adopted daughter. I am an orphan, brought up by missionaries .I knew or I believed that no man would be interested in marrying me and hence never dared to dream so. Minnie was an orphan abandoned in front of the orphanage where I was born . So when I felt that I could stand on my own, I adopted her as my daughter. She does not know these facts and has never wanted to know also. For her I am the world and for me she is my world."

I put her head on my chest. I felt that I had grown wiser at that moment.

The next day was Mother’s Day. We bid our goodbyes and headed towards the car. Soon we would be heading home as the holidays had started.

I started the ignition and switched on the radio as well. A.R.Rahman’s song wafted through....'maa tujhe salaam….' Kunal thrust his head and hands out of the window and shouted……...'Ammaa…tujhe salaam…'

I nodded in agreement…Minnie’s mom deserved it. She was The Real Mom. 

The Truth of Perception

It always happened…………

And it always happened in the lift. ……

And then I would say “Oh God! Not again!”  She would be beside me.  Her small shapely bosom would heave heavily and she would stare at nothing in particular.  I would be shrinking to the corner, away from her, feeling helpless.

It has been the same story since the past 2 years.  I would enter the lift thinking about all the chores I have to complete.  As I enter the lift, I would try to press the button as fast as possible, but then she would rush from nowhere and ………..I wouldn't have an escape route.

At first I tried to avoid her, but she was determined to be as friendly as possible (or so I suspected).

She had a sexy image, the kind of body any man would love to conquer.  Her eyes shined as she talked and the movement of her lips and dimples was so provocative. And the more I saw them, the more was I would get angry. 

Always I tried to put her down. tried not to respond to her conversation.  I imagined her to be the source of pleasure for many men.  Sometimes I even wanted to ridicule her for her vulnerability.

I was looking for a cook.  The surgery had drained all the energy out of me.  I was always feeling like a log.  And somebody suggested her.  They said that she was an expert cook and could do wonders in the kitchen.

My reaction was, that ******? She would ruin my life.

Was I jealous?

Then it happened.  She entered the lift and smiled at me.  Her teeth were like pearls.  (That’s the only thing what I noticed, again, was it jealousy?)  Suddenly the lift got stuck and that’s when I asked her for the first time, “What do you do?”

“I go to cook in people’s houses."

'You b******! I know what you’d really be cooking' I muttered in my head.

One day, I met her along the drive way.  I could not escape and we walked together.

Then she said, “I had a bad day.” 

The wife might have found out the affair, I thought with a glee.

“My son has left me.” (ahh...he must have come to know of his mother’s character, I smiled at my discovery). He wants to live with his wife’s family. They are very rich.” 

She fell silent.  

I asked in a forced sympathetic voice, “Is it not for the betterment of his life?  Leave him.” 

What I was really thinking was - let him have a decent life, you w******! 

She looked at me and the depth of her look startled me.

She said, “People have all kinds of misconceptions about me.  They think that I am the other woman.  I don’t know whether this body of mine is a curse for me.  My husband deserted me because of this body. He suspected me of extra marital affairs. My neighbors, my employers, all.....I never changed their opinion.  I have a nice house, beautiful clothes and jewellery, enough money. I worked for them……. you can detest me but I have not induced anybody to be indulgent with me.  But somehow people have perceived me in an incorrect way. Now my son has gone away. He didn't even say goodbye.” She lamented.

I did not want to look at her for I feared she would overpower me with her emotions. 

I wanted to act tough…

“I am like this and I can’t change,” she continued. “But whatever I am, I am true to myself.  I am not what people think.”

I wanted to ask her more about her son, family….

Suddenly weird thoughts came to my mind.

What if she was trying to gain sympathy?  What if she was pretending to be innocent? How could I believe her?

I changed the direction in which I was going and excused myself.  But the question that lingers in my mind is…………..

Is it or is it not THE TRUTH?

Can You?

'Can you? Will you?' The questions pierced my heart like arrows…They followed me…….. I tossed in my bed .The blood flowed out like a flooded river and drowned me……I could not sleep. I felt helpless. Like a wounded animal I walked slowly. I went and sat on the couch.

I had passed my UPSC exams and secured a job as Social Welfare Officer .My parents were thrilled as a govt.job ensures a smooth life, or so they believed. They were unhappy with my posting, though. It was in a remote village down south. I was a city bred boy and did not have any clue of a village or the life there. My mother cried when I packed my bags and again cried as I boarded the train. She gave me a list of instructions and a bag of pickles and lamented about the cruelty of govt. (she said that the govt should never give postings outside anybody’s hometown) My father just waved his hands and walked along the train till he could, with a chest that swelled with pride, proud of the fact that his son is a well paid central govt.employee..

The welcome ceremony was grand, although I felt some of the people  were comical. I had an old but neat house which doubled as my office. There was a cook, a driver, a car and a watchman….And above all I was right in the middle of nature’s bounty. Wow!! Not bad at all. I went to sleep early. The next day I took charge officially. And I vowed to make radical changes in the life of villagers. Later I wondered whether those villagers understood what I said or was it I, who did not understand them.

That was when she walked in and stood at the corner of the room….

 I was having my lunch…….

 It was her eyes that I first noticed…unusually large eyes, like fish out of water, which darted to and fro…And the smile.....She would have been kidnapped by some toothpaste company if she was in the city, I thought.

She was Tithi and she would be the housekeeper, my driver declared. She was his brother’s daughter.

The days just passed. I was enjoying my life. With Tithi around, the house was spick and span…My clothes, shoes, food, books everything in their place………  she knew all the people,places,and secret formulae for  all ailments. In the evening when I read my books she sat a little away and watched me reading.

One day we both went to the temple of the village deity. I puked while returning. The sight of the priest drinking blood from the sacrificed animals was so disgusting……

 Tithi was very happy. The priest had given her a red flower as blessing from God, which meant she would get married very soon. I tried to ask some questions about her dreams of marriage but she simply smiled.

Somehow I felt uneasy about it. What did marriage mean to her?

One day she did not come…..I kept waiting for her….

The next day an elderly lady replaced her. I gathered courage and asked about Tithi.

'Her marriage has been fixed.

'Oh! Who is the bridegroom?'

'The farmer of savla.'

'How old is he?'

(Tithi was just fourteen)

'He has two wives, but they can’t bear children. But how does age matter?'

What……..I gasped….…..

The woman continued….

'She will be looked after well. The farmer has promised 2000 Rs. 2 bigha land and all expenditure for the marriage. If she bears a son for him then she will be the queen of the village.'

I felt angry. 

The next day I summoned her. I wanted to know her opinion. 

She did not come.

'It is the custom. The girl cannot leave her house once the marriage is fixed…'my driver clarified.

'But how can you all do this? She is just a child. I will send you all to jail. I will call the police…I was seething with anger. The government has passed a law. The minimum age for marriage is 18.'

'But……'

Didn’t allow him to speak…I gave him an elaborate speech on an Indian citizen’s   rights…..the democracy……..the law…..

Saab…..'Will you marry her? Can you?' My driver cut me short.

I did not reply……What to reply as it would be a confirmed negative…….!!!??????

He roared…..'You educated speak volume about laws ….Can you protect her from her enforced destiny? I do know that it is wrong but neither she nor our families have a choice….I hope at least my tithi will escape preying eyes and poverty…she is an orphan and how long can I look after her ….I have 5 daughters'…..He wept …..

I sat still….How long….I do not know…….

'Can you? Will you?' The questions pierced my heart like arrows…They followed me…….. I tossed in my bed .The blood flowed out like a flooded river and drowned me……I could not sleep. I felt helpless. Like a wounded animal I walked slowly. I went and sat on the couch.

The constitution of India loomed large in front of me…

Liberty, Equality, Fratenity……Fundamental rights …Child rights…… all           danced menacingly……and moved towards me….They encircled me……like vultures…..

And, like a whirlpool sucked me in………